mmmhellooo?

Scientology

They said, "Betty, you have all kinda M-grams in your head, and we can cure all that for $5,000." Ain't no way in hell I'm giving that woman $5,000.

Domestic Violence

I woke up and he had a 12-gauge shotgun pointed at my head telling me, "Where is my breakfast?"

Methodists

... A poor man's Presbyterians ... or else people who has left the Anglican church because they got tired of squatting ... or Baptists who'd gone back to drinkin' and didn't want to get judged.

Meds

Never, under no circumstances turn yourself over to them mental health people for what they call a 72-hour hold. Oh my God. You want to talk about being held hostage.

Ford for President '76

This is one of Chuck's favorites. How could you not like someone who's constantly falling down staircases?

Nausea

Many people don’t know that Betty starred in a French art film. Did you catch it at Cannes in 1971?

Presbyterians

You can't sneeze in that church without about six old women bringing out casseroles.