mmmhellooo?

Buddhists

I don't have no incense. Will Febreze do?

Mormon Wife

I would have never signed up for this thing if I'd knowed we'd be going 700,000 miles across the desert lookin' for Zion.

Lutherans

Martin Luther founded this thing ... he went and wrote 95 things on the wall and went on a diet of worms. Now you know that takes real commitment to just eat nothing but worms ... for the Lord.

Episcopal Perspectives

Now what would you think if they put your husband in Reynolds Wrap?

Cursillo

You could have heard a pin drop when I got through with my testimony.

Bible Study with Betty

All you have to do is crawl up and fold your knees together and your arms and say, 'Lord Jesus I don't even know what I'm supposed to be doing.' And then right before you pass out sometimes the Lord will give you a Word.

BYU TV

We don't get no kind of money from the government. I guess it's because of polygamy and racism.

Catholics

I looked around one time and everybody was beatin' their chests, and I thought, 'Oh my god, they've got bird flu!"

Episcopalians

They don't have no women's committee. I says, 'When someone dies who makes all the casseroles?' They didn't have no answer.

Confession

Betty breaks all "19 commandments" and confesses her sins.